Ladies and Gentlemen,
As some of you know I'm in the process of writing a Science Fiction novel, and I'm happy to tell you that it's nearly finished. No guarantee that I'll be able to get it published, of course, but I'm nearing the point where I can start the process of trying to do so.
Anyway, one of my characters is elucidating a plan about making gradual changes to human society over a long period of time. The idea is that massive changes can be made if they are done slowly. Or, even if they cause significant resistance at the time, that resistance will fade over time. After all, what children grow up with is what they assume is normal, even if they are viewed by the old as revolutionary technologies or scandalous morals.
I wanted to make a simple analogy for readers to more easily understand this viewpoint without the need for complex explanations, so I have written this sentence:
In the space of a couple of generations in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, America went from a nation in which racial segregation was the norm for large parts of the country to one which elected a black President.
I fully realise that this is the sort of topic which can enflame pubic opinion among Americans, so I wanted to run it by you guys to see if you think the wording is OK as it stands, or needs altering to make it more accurate or less controversial (if it is).
Please note that this is supposed to be an easily understood example of how a society can both change and (largely) accept change over time. I'm not trying to comment on the nature of that change (whether it was a good thing or bad), but simply state that it happened.
In other words, this sentence is supposed to be drawing on factual historical precedence to illustrate a point. If it instead grabs the attention of some readers and causes them to focus on it rather than the idea it is designed to illustrate, it will prove unsuitable to its purpose.
Just looking for opinions here, and suggestions if you think the wording should be tweaked.
As some of you know I'm in the process of writing a Science Fiction novel, and I'm happy to tell you that it's nearly finished. No guarantee that I'll be able to get it published, of course, but I'm nearing the point where I can start the process of trying to do so.
Anyway, one of my characters is elucidating a plan about making gradual changes to human society over a long period of time. The idea is that massive changes can be made if they are done slowly. Or, even if they cause significant resistance at the time, that resistance will fade over time. After all, what children grow up with is what they assume is normal, even if they are viewed by the old as revolutionary technologies or scandalous morals.
I wanted to make a simple analogy for readers to more easily understand this viewpoint without the need for complex explanations, so I have written this sentence:
In the space of a couple of generations in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, America went from a nation in which racial segregation was the norm for large parts of the country to one which elected a black President.
I fully realise that this is the sort of topic which can enflame pubic opinion among Americans, so I wanted to run it by you guys to see if you think the wording is OK as it stands, or needs altering to make it more accurate or less controversial (if it is).
Please note that this is supposed to be an easily understood example of how a society can both change and (largely) accept change over time. I'm not trying to comment on the nature of that change (whether it was a good thing or bad), but simply state that it happened.
In other words, this sentence is supposed to be drawing on factual historical precedence to illustrate a point. If it instead grabs the attention of some readers and causes them to focus on it rather than the idea it is designed to illustrate, it will prove unsuitable to its purpose.
Just looking for opinions here, and suggestions if you think the wording should be tweaked.