Well that was an exciting game! Thank you all for playing.

Year 1:
I thought it'd be cool to have an inseparable partnership. So I opened up my ancient book of spells, which is of course stored scanned into my phone on Kindle. I casted "Best buds forever" on a dart, and then I opened up Photoshop and threw the dart at my monitor as hard as I could. It landed right smack dab in the middle of Cambodia, magically linking Thailand and Vietnam forever, as well as putting this small hole in my screen with really cool cracks radiating from it.

Year 2:
Tied for the most boring Nuclear Warfare map ever!! I was going to make it, but management didn't want to pay me overtime.

Year 3:
Egypt comes to me with concerns about stagnating, and not gaining more territory and not being able to further expand his treasury. So I says "I bet if you would advertise Crete as a vacation spot, then rich people around the world would go there and give you oodles of money?" Because what's better than a vacation spot that involves one way tickets?

Year 4:
Canada invades my home province. I ponder if I should run away to another state where their navy will not follow. Some are saying the Canadian soldiers are shooting Americans on sight. That may be hysteria. Mexican armies conquering to the east. I am stuck between people that speak English and French and people that speak Spanish and Spanglish.

Year 5:
I decide BAM should be nuked. Wouldn't it be ironic to have a big bam in BAM? I think it should be nuked at least once each game. I plead and beg and coerce and threaten every single nation with a nuke in range. My plan backfires. BAM gets UNTF support instead. What a cruel joke.

Year 6:
I remind Italy, Pakistan, Nigeria and Brazil that green is my favorite color and suggest they should take over the world. Other people have other plans.

Year 7:
The LA province is nuked. I died.

Year 8:
A new record! FOUR waves of nuclear launches!! Mutually Assured Destruction or Mutually Assisted Destruction? Yes.

Year 9:
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is still stupid. That's not even a joke. Whales? In Star Trek? WHALES?!?

Year 10:
Coalition Coloring Coefficient becomes the new slang scientific term for the precise density of a globe required to sink into paint just far enough to color the new Argentina, Australia and Chile coalition while floating.