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Post 01 Jan 2017, 11:36 am

I wish everyone a happy new year!!!

This first entry is about an epiphany. I found that Comrade Paul can be erratic and bull-headed. It was an eye opener. Completely and utterly correct and thanks to the player who said it, I didn't see it until then.

I also want to praise our excellent scientists in Baja, the BA-ANG team - cool acronym eh? I'm behind those guys, long live Mexico!
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Post 03 Jan 2017, 4:42 pm

Santiago asked me about my cold #MexicoSneezes. I want everyone to know how considerate Santiago is. He runs a number of fine restaurants in Mexico City. The duck at Quintonil is the best, trust me.

Thanks Santiago, I worked out this morning and fighting fit. Long live the people of Mexico!
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Post 03 Jan 2017, 4:51 pm

Siblings!

I heard someone is related to someone, a Tunisian and a Moroccan? Look guys, whether its true or not, the best one to fight is your sibling. Trust me.

Also heard BA-ANG are planning a new year's experiment that will blow no one's socks off. Always ahead of the curve those guys. Long live anything Mexican!
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Post 04 Jan 2017, 7:44 am

(05#1-1)

Those arrows on the maps I got today look damn pretty. My favourites are in southern Africa, the cool squiggly fleet support from Cape Town, and the ultimate short-range nuke fired from Bloemfontein. Can it get any better.

And while I'm on the subject of nukes, I might need to misplace a few of the BA-ANG team. The people are asking why they don't see any Mexican fireworks. I'll deal with this at the next top level hush hush very secret meeting. Eyes will roll, trust me.
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Post 04 Jan 2017, 1:09 pm

(05#1-2)

Arrows aside, favourite move has to be the wing on wing fight for Tibet. Haven't got my head around how it turns out yet, but there's a movie there, trust me..
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Post 04 Jan 2017, 1:52 pm

(05#1-3)

I was watching Extras, British sitcom. Mr Gervais made a stupid catchphrase from a satire on stupid catchprases, trust me.

So, someone here at the office pointed out I keep saying "trust me" like its a catchphrase in Extras...I promoted them immediately. That's how we work here. All that nuke suff, I like the pretty arrows but when push comes to shove, they pass each other by.

Anyway, a plug for the BA-ANG guys. Top person there says no problems, a delay only to re-evaluate technicalities. Measure twice fire once. Couldn't have put it better myself.
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Post 07 Jan 2017, 1:27 pm

(05#1-4)

Santiago, head gardener at the Comrade Paul Estate, pointed out this proto-zit I had. Could've been a real nasty one. That didn't happen, so now my new Head Ambassador is giving me tips on how to proceed with things beyond skin care.

He mentioned Russia, and you know President Zac is doing a great job, and my new HA says gardeners everywhere thought "if anyone nukes anyone then nuke UK" deserves a pint regardless - and lets be fair UK did declare war - but what about the gardens? I have to agree and I invite President Zac to discuss saving UK gardens from more damage.
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Post 15 Jan 2017, 4:01 pm

The guys here have put in place an annual award for best Squiggly Arrow the GM made on the map.

In year four South Africa's support order from Cape Town came tops. In year five SA submitted the same order and though impressive, it failed to match Canada's order to the North Pole.

Looking forward to year six!
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Post 18 Jan 2017, 4:32 pm

Looks odds on favourite that ANC-NP will win the Best Squiggly Map Arrow award this year, though the curl at the end of the support for WED-SWI is magical.

All those nukes shocked me. Fall is going to be an anti-climax guys! The BA-ANG team told me to expect something special this fall, now they are running around like headless chickens and I've contacted KFC.
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Post 18 Jan 2017, 4:45 pm

Santiago reminded me I shoud talk about English gardens. But English Channel lost a lot of fish. We argued and I came round to Santiago's view. Gardens with ponds solves the problem of radioactive oceans. I have two large ponds in my garden, and welcome refugeee fish from the English Channel.
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Post 29 Jan 2017, 10:30 am

So, after the flue that's been sweeping the nation #MexicoSneezes, and given my brief sabbatical, there's been further false news that Mexico isn't fighting fit.

Okay, true the experts said there was a problem and you know I have a great respect for experts. So I dealt with it! Believe me I really dealt with it, and appointed every one of them as advisors.

As it stands I've a new team of experts, including doctors and pharmacologists, whose only aim is to ensure Mexico remains fighting fit.
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Post 31 Jan 2017, 3:21 pm

Somebody here pointed out there were a lot of nukes flying a while back. Okay I can't deal with everything, so this time I fired the messenger. Need to keep everyone on their toes believe me.

Biggest problem here at the Ovoid Office, is keeping track of my inbox. Its a big inbox. Its got a folder for every nation, trust me, a long list and I don't where half of them are! So, sorry to Zambia for never writing you!

Anyway, back to nukes and I have to agree with the ex-employee, that was a lot of nukes. So it leads me straight to the door of BA-ANG. Disappointed isn't one of my words, but ears will turn on this one.
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Post 07 Feb 2017, 2:36 pm

Due to the "Siblings Affair" some time ago, I instructed my team of experts - big team now trust me - to secretly acquire genetic samples from the leaders of all nations. (Only after an exhaustive review by the Ethics Group of course!)

They disappointed me by finding no evidence of anyone directly related to anyone else, leaving me short of a blog subject at the time. However, recently they've been looking into the writing style of each leader, and some past leaders, as an alternative way to establish any connections.

They call this stylometry. I thought they just invented that word but apparently its been a bigly thing for lots of years at least.

Anyway, they identified a surprising number of leaders with very similar writing styles. In fact, the only leader with a distinct writing style turned out to be the leader of - ahem - Mexico! (Though several of them thought Kurt Vonnegut must be my ghost writer so I gave them a detailed lesson on how to use the door!)

My meaner and leaner team of experts broke down the result and revealed - what seems to me an extravagant claim- that aside from Mexico there are only five people leading every other nation! Not quite the result I was anticipating believe me.

Since this was a triple-blind study I've no idea yet who exactly these five people are and which nations they lead. But I am reassured. I mean, outsmarting dozens of experienced leaders is a tall order even for me. A mere five should be easy. Its not the size of your hand that counts!

Okay, footnote here, some of the team I gave a second chance when they spouted complicated stuff about "context having the most bearing" on the writing they analysed. Being no expert I don't understand, they're just looking for research funding I guess, but in this day and age its best to show willing and give the minority view an airing. If they come up with anything that makes sense, you'll be the first to know.
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Post 13 Feb 2017, 12:53 pm

So, I was thinking what's been happening. I checked out some NWO history and saw somebody mentioned ETs. Or maybe that was me. Either way it only goes to show I know about ETs so I was writing about ETs when my advisor stepped in and mentioned Canada.

she, or, he, did, wtf!?

Okay I need to contact my analyst.

I'm reluctant. Last time we talked he advised me to cut down on the number of personalities!
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Post 14 Feb 2017, 1:13 pm

I spotted someone who looked familiar in a rival blog. Fake news folks! I'll see them in court!

Anyway, you know I had fantastic respect for The Don, but you also know that saying about how power corrupts.

Colonel B looks a very different kettle of onions trust me. I bet the shirt on my back that power will never corrupt this leader!

Btw, if anyone can recommend a shirt-maker familiar with kevlar, then I can get them a nation-wide advertising deal. Need I say more?