Chicago son - Dad, isn't the 4th of July still another couple of days away?

Chicago father - Well, yes son. Why do you ask?

Chicago son - Why do I ask? What on earth are we celebrating early for?

Chicago father - I'm not sure I know what you mean.

Chicago son - Dad, before sunrise this morning the fireworks went off. I could hear them all morning. The sky was lit up like it was the middle of the day. Debris from all the shows must be what is falling still on our yard.

Chicago father - Well son, this year we decided to celebrate a little early.

Chicago son - You always complain about the quality of the Chinese fireworks...these seemed to go off without a hitch.

Chicago father - That's true son. The Chinese spared no expense this year. They wanted to make sure our holiday really started off with a bang and with Trump threatening to shut down trade and all, well, let's just say they wanted to get it right.

Chicago son - but why so early? I don't understand.

Chicago father - I'm afraid that was only a primer son. The best is yet to come.

Chicago father - Son, fetch your mother and sisters and have them move into the fallout shelter please.

Chicago son - Where are you going dad?

Chicago father - First to Mass and then down to the Red Cross to place an international call via Ham radio.

Chicago son - Who are you calling?

Chicago father - An old friend of mine in Kenya. I hope he picks up.