- official organ of the French Free Press -

The Chair

After a few mishaps misunderstandings and moments of myopia, the French leader has finally found a suitably grand chair from which to conduct the campaign. The Chair arrived in Paris on Friday and Comrade Paul lost no time testing its effect. Once sat in The Chair, he was transformed from a bald middle-aged fart, into a fine specimen of humanity and an outstanding example to us all.

It Just All Balls

On Saturday Comrade Paul attended the official laying of the first stone of the new football academy in Ghana. Supporters were overjoyed he'd also brought The Chair. After the event Comrade Paul travelled east to impartially referee a football match with Nigeria.

Paris Lights

Its said that if you walk the length of the Champs-Elysees hand-in-hand with your lover, you will remain happy and loyal partners for the rest of your lives.

Although we don't believe such nonsense here at the Red, White & Bugle, we do believe in loyalty to our partners all over the world. Imagine that you too can live the dream of those lovers, and see the lights of Paris without first setting it on fire.